Sunday, February 03, 2008

The latest battle between good and evil

Update: I forgot my prediction. It's optimistic, but I'm calling it 24-21, Giants.

Today, the warriors of New York (even if their home field is in New Jersey) shall wage battle against the devils of Massachusetts. "For by the law of God, no knight who is false can win in combat with one who is true." Should the Giants fail in their quest, we will know that God has indeed forsaken this land, and that evil is forever free to blanket our lives.

Hyperbole aside, if the Patriots do win, we all know what they had to do to achieve their perfect season*. If Belichick were a true gentleman, he'd have graciously offered to forfeit the game out of shame. But he didn't, knowing that they might lose a first-round draft pick, but they already have a great team assembled, and videotape is cheap anyway. Well, we've come to know the team's character so well that when the news mentioned the Giants' 50-minute walk-through on Saturday, we didn't wonder if the Patriots had anyone spying on them, but how many were sent.

But for me, there is a single reason to hate the Patriots: the fact that John Kerry is not just cheering for them, but that he used legislative blackmail to force stations to televise the game, threatening Senate hearings though someone had already bought exclusive rights to the broadcoast:
Most people will never fathom that this is just more legislative blackmail, this threat of "oversight" or "investigations." Shrillary can tout the mortgage interest rate freeze as "voluntary" until the final days when she and the devil are cast into the lake of fire, but it was no more voluntary than giving your wallet to a mugger so he won't shoot you. Now Kerry's doing this to the NFL: do things my way, or Congress will step in and legislate you to death.

It's not special interests. It's called private property and the rights thereof. Somebody owns the team. Somebody owns the network. If they can't get to an agreement about broadcasting, well, that's just too frickin' bad for the viewers. No one has a right, in the literal sense, to watch the game. The only "right" to watch the game is purely contractual, and it does not exist in this situation. If it's publicly broadcast, no one has a contractual right to watch it. Even if it were being broadcast on cable, viewers still would have no contractual right, unless it were specified in a contract. PPV, for example, is a contract that for a certain sum of money, you gain the contractual right to watch an event. The same contract also normally says that if you can't watch it, your only recourse is a refund (which is fair, otherwise sports "fans" would sue for millions of dollars if something got screwed up).

But like other socialists, Kerry doesn't believe that people truly own their property. Today we're legislated and regulated to where we effectively own our property only at the whim of others.

For the very reason that Kerry is their fan, just like my dad always rooted against the Redskins because our family always hated their city, I pray the Patriots get their asses kicked.


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